A Broken Time

Description

I had lost the sense of time around my space during remote learning. During the pandemic, I had remote learning and it was a sad experience for me. I virtually shared a big space with my classmates online, but I had felt a decline in the presence of my surroundings. These feelings of being lost of time and socially disconnected had inspired me to create this artwork. In this artwork “A Broken Time” has a lady figure drawn holding a cracked clock in her hand, while standing indifferent from the grimful crowd around her. Her eyes and expressions are emotionless, which reflects on the lost feeling. The cracked clock represents the brokenness and uncertainty of time. The dark grey crowd represents the gloomy and lonely surrounding, along with a blue stroke of paint indicating sadness. The loss of my surroundings during remote learning and the pandemic impacted my self-identity to become sensitive and quieter. I felt a splash of emotions that were unknown and confusing, and I couldn’t express nor understand them. This moment of time was quite unique to me because the concept of remote learning and the pandemic were a big turning point in my life. During this period of time I explored and learned a lot about myself as I had plenty of time to reflect upon myself. So, I thought that it was quite important to highlight this moment through my drawing and place myself back in those nostalgic times by looking at the drawing after years. My emotions are highly connected with my artwork, and my feelings were dynamic during pandemic. This drawing summarizes all my feelings of craze, confusion, sadness, and lostness. My experience of grief impacted my relationship with the community negatively as I felt like an outlier, and thought that there is a clear great distance between me and the social world. As shown in the drawing the crowd is dark and gloomy, which was my perspective of the people around me and the public. While creating this artwork it took me back to those moments when I felt lost of time and I pitied my older self. My perspective used to be negative about my loss, but gradually as I grew out of it I viewed it under a positive light. I self developed myself and matured in a way where I understood myself better. Reflecting on this last year, isolation, loss and uncertainty have taught me that you are the only one to stand up for yourself in the world. You have to build yourself because everyone has their personal issues or difficulties, so you are the only one investing time in taking care of yourself.